I was in the middle of DAC rehearsals, watching I think my play for Mia's play when my roommate, Raf texted me "Max". I'm thinking, "Oh god, what did your father do this time", but before I could even type, he says "Aaron died. He f- died." I just responded with a "?" because what do you mean he died? I knew young people passes away all the time because that's just how the world works, but he told me to check my email and that's when I got the email from Manhattan University saying that Aaron Schoepf passed away. As I'm reading this during rehearsals, honestly it felt like everything being said in the room was in one ear and out the other. Couldn't focus on my lines or blocking, just the email and reading it fully.
One of my best friends, Enya, then texted me on Snap saying "Max. Aaron just passed away." So now it's more and more real. Next thing I know, more people are telling me about it because since I'm in Rome, I don't get news as quickly as everybody else does on campus. The truth is, it hurt knowing that he died. I don't say that in a way that makes it seem like I was going to lie, but I mean it in a way that I actually felt pain in my stomach. Besides my dog dying years ago, I never experienced a death close to me to feel anything, so finding out that not only a student at my school died, but someone who I considered a friend passed away.
I first met Aaron sophomore year. I was with Enya and another girl named Ian (I really hope I'm spelling it correctly) and he was telling me about the book proposal he had in mind for his partner. Minding you, FIRST TIME I'm ever hearing who this person is, he's going on about this story and how he's going to propose and it was so cute because you can tell at that moment that he was genuinely excited about it. The way he smiled and how his cheekbones were really big, looking back I don't know how his mouth didn't hurt, but after that conversation and then some, we hugged because he's a hugger or at least with me to some extent, and I left with Enya. Learning he was an English major, I could've thought that we would take an English class together. We never did.
Fast forward to the Check, Please days when I auditioned and got the part of Brandon and Julia. We're warming up to each other a bit more, mainly me because I didn't really know anybody within the theater space at school. I remember doing my scene with Olivia Bailey at first and constantly thinking how to make this funnier. Nobody knew how stressed I was mentally at making sure people laughed at what I did, I mean if nobody laughed, I was gonna lose it. Aaron suggested that when I yell STELLAAAAAAAA that I actually bust out on the floor and scream it as loud as I can. Never thought about that, but it worked! Yes, I will always and forever have trauma with the black box floor because my left knee kept bleeding, but I pushed through. He always helped me with the physical comedy and making sure that I utilized my body as much as I can because it was an instrument, and still is.
Now And Then There Were None auditions. We both had callbacks for Narracott and FYI, I studied hard for that role. Short part, but I put my all into it. Didn't get it, but Aaron did. Was I salty? Honestly, no. I just thought, I hope it wasn't because I sucked at the British accent. The play itself may not have interested me, but watching him perform the role made me realize that it wasn't for me. That part wasn't meant to be performed by me, but by him. In some ways, I see it as a good thing because it would be the last time I got to see him be an actor. So, thinking about it, I think he needed that more than I did, but he made me his dramaturgy assistant so we still worked together and I still harassed him ALL THE TIME, so it was worth it.
We were both on the leadership for the club, It's On Us. I was the newly inducted Mens Engagement Coordinator, but I remember vividly coming into Miguel 311 a bit early before a meeting and sat in the front row hear the podium. He came in later, and after a couple of chit chat, he told me happy belated birthday because I had been 21 for a couple of days. I won't get into the details of the conversation, but we low-key had a deep talk because I asked him about his books and he goes personal with them. He told me about his coming-of-age and his life in a way that made me understand him a bit more because like I said on my instagram story, we weren't the best of friends. We weren't in each other's tight circle, we didn't spill secrets, but that was the first time I saw more of who he was and not the idea of him I painted him to be as I have a bad habit of doing. I say that because I don't like it when people paint this idea of them being besties with someone who passed away, I find it disrespectful. I love Aaron, but we weren't having late night talks and having sleepovers. However, he always waved at me in the hallway and said hi, he allowed me to meet his black cat for like 30 seconds before I dipped because I'm deathly afraid of cats, he waited for me in the quad as I'm running in my Birkenstocks to go to the deli before a Scatterbomb show, and that was the kind of friendship we had. And that was enough for me because that was special in its own way.
It was always going to be weird to come back to Manhattan because of me being in Rome, but now it's going to be even weirder knowing that he won't come back. We were both English majors, Players, and It's On Us leaders. I mean, Senior Seminar was waiting for us, and so were future Players production. I was ready to harass him even the more, and now next year as a senior, it's gonna be so- off. His absence is causing a shift in the vibe of the environment, and to know that his presence is gone, it's weird to process. I guess I'm just saying this all out here because nobody here at AUR gets it. I'm glad people at Manhattan have each other. I have myself. Not making this about me AT ALL, I'm just saying that this is my way of saying what I want to say, so yeah. Rest in Peace Mr. Aaron Schoepf, I'll miss you.
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